All parents think of their children, such as "I want you to like studying" and "I want you to be willing to study." It's all about wishing for the happiness of the child. However, in reality, it's hard to think about it, and there are many parents whose feelings are spinning (one's) wheels."You haven't studied again. You have to be willing to do it yourself!" "You promised to study from ○ o'clock. Why don't you protect it properly?" "How many times must I be do it myself?" Did you just say something like "?" It is also said that scolding too much is only harmful to children. This time, let's see what after effects and harmful effects can be caused by scolding a child too much.Harm 1. Get motivatedAs I mentioned earlier, many parents scold their children every day. But this never motivates a child. There is no motivation, but rather there are many harmful effects. The first of the negative effects is that it also makes you lose the feeling that there was a little "I have to study ...". This is because when a child is scolded by his parents like that, he feels "I was blamed. I was denied." The moment one feels "I was blamed", one closes his heart and becomes unable to accept it obediently. Instead of accepting it, I even feel like "I will never do it if this happens".Harm 2. Feeling lack of loveThe second negative effect is that if you continue to be scolded by your parents, you will become distrustful of them. "Mom doesn't seem to think much about me. I think I'm a bad boy. Maybe I'm not so cherished..." "Dad doesn't like me. I'm loved. Maybe I am not. I wonder if I'm hated... ", that is, they feel a lack of love for their parents. Then, the child cannot be obedient. In some cases, the growing distrust of each other causes the parent-child relationship to cool down, eventually leading to the collapse of the parent-child relationship.Harm 3. I can't have a sense of self-affirmationThe third negative effect of being scolded is that children lose confidence in themselves. "I can't say it over and over. I'm a bad boy. I can't do anything anyway." "I'm always scolded every day. I'm a bad boy. No matter what I do. That's it. " If you feel this way, you will lose your sense of self-affirmation and will be dominated by your sense of self-denial. Then, not only studying, but also playing, lifestyle, and anything else, you start to think that you can't do it. Naturally, you will not have the energy to take on challenges and do your best. For example, even if you try a little, if there is a small wall, you will not be able to overcome it, saying "I thought it was no good, but I tried it, but it is no good. I can't do anything myself anyway". A child with a high sense of self-affirmation feels that he or she can do anything, so he or she will be motivated to take on challenges and do his best. Even if there is a small wall, you can overcome it by thinking that you should be able to do it. This difference is huge.Harm 4. Fall into the "sour grape effect"The fourth negative effect is that if you keep being scolded, the value of the scolded things in your child will decrease. In other words, if you are scolded for studying, the value of studying will decrease in the child, and if you are scolded for tidying up, the value of tidying up will decrease. The reason for this is that the "sour grape effect" in psychology works. This psychological term is based on the story of "sour grapes" in the Aesop story.The fox finds a delicious grape and tries to jump and pick it up. However, because it was in a high place, I couldn't take it no matter how many times I tried. Finally, the fox gives up, but at that time he says "I don't need that grape because it's sour". In other words, he tried to protect his ego by lowering the value of the grapes. This kind of mental work is called the "sour grape effect" in psychology.Harm 5. Try to imitate the indefinite wording of parentsThe fifth negative effect is that if parents continue to scold for negative words, their children will acquire the negative words themselves. Children learn words by imitating their parents' words. If parents speak Japanese, their children will speak Japanese, and if parents speak English, their children will also speak English. If parents talk positively, so does their child, and if parents talk negatively, so does their child. All of these things are unknowingly worn. Of course, when you talk to your friends, you start to speak in such a negative way.How was it? Parenting too much scolding has only a negative effect on the child. Stop being emotional, learn good scolding for your child, and deepen the relationship of trust between parents and children.