Why your child talks back and how to convince them without scolding

Do you have more answers and excuses when your child becomes an elementary school student? In response to my parents' words such as "clean up", "it's time to go to bed", and "have you finished your homework?" Sometimes it happens. Some parents may be surprised or depressed by the rebellious words from their child, who still thinks they are young. So, this time, I thought about the feelings, psychology, and how to treat the child.Why do you make oral answers and excuses?Of course, children aren't the only ones to answer and make excuses. You may have made excuses without thinking deeply to assert your legitimacy or to match the atmosphere of the place. So what kind of psychological situation does a child have to say or make excuses to a parent?Reasons and psychology when children talkSuppose you say, "Take a bath early," and your child replies, "Well, it's still good, why should I take it now?" Parents want to say, "Don't say it!", But if there is a certain reason for the child, it may not be possible to say it in a general way. You may want to do your homework first, or you may be full, so you should calm down a little more.In addition, children in the "intermediate rebellion period" and "gang age" from the lower grades of elementary school to the middle grades break away from their parents' values ​​and new values ​​and judgment criteria with themselves and friends. I will try to grow. Therefore, even if a parent instructs something, the behavior pattern may be to first deny it and then think about whether or not to do it.Also, from the upper grades of elementary school to junior high school, even if it ends in failure this time, there is a strong desire to solve things and succeed on their own. When parents decide how to do it and when to do it, they sometimes say, "Don't disturb me even though I was trying to think for myself and do my best!"How to treat a child who talks backExplain to be convincedDo you often tell your child to "study"? It's natural to study, and when I was in elementary school, I knew the importance of having the basics of studying. But kids don't know that. Even if it is said that studying is important, I cannot understand it. That's why the words "I don't like it," "I'll do it later," and "even though moms can't study," are used. However, it is NG to be frustrated and scolded. Take the time to talk calmly until your child is satisfied with what is important to study.For example, the importance of studying;

• If you can study, you can get good points in the test and show off to everyone.
• You can earn the trust of your friends when they teach you how to study.
• When I grow up a little, I can become a person who can do what I want to do
• If you reach your goal, you will receive such a reward.

I will explain each one so that the child can imagine it concretely. Children are willing to act without being told if they are satisfied. It is important for parents to devote themselves to support. The same is true except when not studying. Let's explain it carefully until you are satisfied.Empathize with the story of the childThere are times when parents' opinions such as "This is no good", "That is no good", "Don't just watch this kind of anime", and "Why don't you read this book?" I thought that my child wouldn't have a hard time, but if I just denied it, my child would feel like "Why don't you understand?" And when you feel lonely and sad, you want to rebel.You may be watching TV for some reason as a kid, or you may need games to make friends with your friends. Without asking why, you will lose the relationship of trust that you have built up, which you have been denying. First of all, why do you like this TV show? What's interesting about this book? I will touch on the interests of children.When I ask my child why, I sympathize with him, "That's right, this is interesting," and "This TV show is popular at school." By being sympathized, children and moms feel reassured when they listen to their stories. You will be able to listen to your parents relatively because you can build trust as well as peace of mind.How was it? Oral answers and excuses are necessary for the child to grow up, and they also provide an opportunity to deepen parent-child communication. If you can afford to enjoy "what kind of answer will you give?" Instead of suddenly scolding "just answer!", Your parents' stress and anxiety will surely be relieved.